Weird Jobs to Contemplate
How many of the following jobs strike your fancy?
- Professional bowling ball drillers
- Onion graders
- Anchor manufacturers
- Snake wranglers
- Colonic irrigationists
- Accordion teacher
- Firework lighter
- Pet photographer
- Typewriter repair and salesman
- Worm farmers
- Bazooka rocket makers
Pubic Hair Tester
Chris Bell of the sample collection division of TrichoTech tests pubic hair for a living.
What’s he looking for? Drugs.
And why is he looking for it? To get you fired or exonerated.
And does he HAVE to use pubic hair? Erm, no. But it’s more fun that way!
From The Times (UK) Magazine, April 22, 2006:
What do you do [drug testing-wise] if someone’s bald?
Often people come in shaved from head to foot. They say they’re athletes or swimmers, or say it’s for fashion, and among those there are some trying to avoid being tested. But they’ve usually forgotten about their pubic hair, so occasionally we take that.
Tools of the trade: a vacuum cleaner, some jars, and a ‘wasp collecting suit’.
Guessed the job yet? Kiwi John Eason guessed it a while ago, and now he’s making a decent living as a Wasp Collector. In fact, he believes he is one of only two people in New Zealand who collects live german wasps to send to the United States for use in manufacturing wasp sting de-sensitising drugs.
After sneaking up on them and vacuuming them up, Eason fast-freezes them and sends them on to a lab in the US where the venom is extracted.
“They can be pretty scary sometimes, especially when they get stuck in your visor, but they’re only protecting their home. I get pretty dressed up. I’ve only had three stings.”
Eason also states that german wasps don’t swarm, but large groups could sometimes be seen at this time of year searching for nectar to feed the queens, and some overwintering nests can have thousands of queens.
Sounds like a couple of clubs I know near where I used to live in Manchester.
Scary stuff, indeed.
(Found at stuff.co.nz)
Onion Grader
How well do you know your onions? To be an onion grader, you need to be able to determine the ideal:
- Size
- Shape
- Ripeness
- Colour
And, you need to know which onions are good for:
- Pickling
- Flavouring
- Relishes
Last, but not least, you’ve got to clean the onions up.
Salaries for onion grading probably have to be pretty darn good to make up for the stinkiness the worker and his/her friends and family have to endure.
From Frontline2
Sleep Director
Wayne Munnelly may have some people’s dream job, but I’m guessing it’s also some others’ nightmare job. Munnelly is Travelodge hotel chain’s sleep director and gets paid £60,000 a year to test the sleep-inducing qualities of Travelodge rooms.
Weird job description:
- Examine tension in mattresses
- Check springiness of pillows
- Adjust intensity of room lighting
- Optimize soundproofing between rooms
- Consult with Feng Shui experts to make the rooms more relaxing
- Ask color therapists for most soothing paints
- Taste-test complimentary tea and coffee
Chronic insomniacs need not apply.
Bradford.co.uk, February 16 2006
Shape shifting, human-blood-drinking trainee butlers wanted.
As I was browsing around the ummm…. Royal Family website this morning (as one does…. bwahaha), I discovered they had a recruitment section.
No shit.
So I’m going to officially start a series of posts here at weird.wurk.net about working for the British Royal Family. Because working there has got to be one of the most ‘far-removed-from-reality’ experiences around.
Take the ad for Trainee Butlers, for example. Part of it reads…
“The Master of the Household’s Department is the largest department of the Royal Household. It is responsible for catering, housekeeping and entertaining at The Queen’s official residences.”
The Master of the Household’s Department? Why can’t they just call it the staff canteen, like most normal workplaces. I have no idea. But I will be following this site pretty damn closely for any trace of weirdness - like this for example. And I quote…
DAVID Icke, the former sports presenter who once proclaimed himself to be the Son of God, has offered up more of his unusual wisdom, this time claiming that the Royal Family are “bloodsucking alien lizards”.
Mr Icke, 53, claims the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh are shape-shifters who drink human blood to look like us.
David Icke, I salute you.
Stark raven mad.
“Derrick Coyle’s working day starts at the crack of dawn - literally - when he greets each of his ravens by name, letting them out of the cages where they spend the night.”
Who am I talking about? Obvious, really. It’s the feller who looks after the famous ravens at the Tower of London.
And here’s why you’ve got to be a bit mad to do the job: according to legend, at least six ravens must remain lest both Tower and Monarchy fall.
So, if you accidentally trod on one of the little buggers, it wouldn’t just be the end of the blackbird, it would probably be the end of the entire United Kingdom.
Now that’s what I call responsibility.
A Casino Dealer’s New Year Resolutions
Casinos are not familiar places to me. And casino work is even less familiar. I don’t think I have the brain power necessary to keep track of as many things as a dealer must.
Check out this casino dealer’s new year resolutions. Not a single one of his overlapped mine.
- I promise not to exterminate any of my obnoxious players anymore, unless they deserve it.
- I promise not to correct my own mistakes.
- I promise not to stare at cleavage.
Resolutions 4-12 at The Casino Dealer Life.
Meteoriticist
How do you even pronounce “meteoriticist”? Not that my chosen profession - epidemiologist - is much better.
And what does it take to be a meteoriticist? First, you’ve got to know how to say it and spell it. Then, you’ve got to learn all about mineralogy and chemistry.
To learn more about meteors, meteorites, and meteoriticists, check out Meteorite Central.
Is someone pulling the strings in your career?
Not if you’re Laura Opshinsky, professional puppeteer. Laura, together with her husband, formed ‘We’re Holden Puppets’ in 1979, and have performed at the Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, Three Rivers Arts Festival, the Andy Warhol Museum and hundreds of elementary schools and private homes.
As a career, “It’s very rewarding and the kids love it,” Opshinsky says.
For more on puppetry, and how to get into the business, go read The Puppet Studio.
Or, if you just want to get to grips with some sock puppet basics, and maybe become a freelance sock puppeteer, check this out.
